Seasons Of Change

10years starting from the brownie years… Looking back… Happiness, tears, sweat, blood, friendship, arguments, hopes …There were tons of things that happened to me in the sense of guiding… From an extremely chubby chum to a chubby girl… From a nobody to a somebody… There were a lot of first times for me in guides… My first outing, which was in standard 4… It was with brownies… My first camp… When I was in form 1… Were the extremely clumsy me fell down and left scars on my knee and arms… My first time staying in a tent… It was in form 1… Got really bad rashes after the 3days 2nights stay on my neck… My first campfire… In form 2… Taman S.E.A. campfire… One of the most memorable ones as well… I met someone… A friend, a mate, a special some one… My campfire kakies (last time), who became my bosom pals… Yuk Jing, Pau Ling, Sean Im, Michelle… My first gathering (in the organizing committee)… Form 3… It was disastrous some friends became foul… Some seniors became the people I don’t respect anymore… Rice flew around the field and we had to scope it up with miserable spoons after that event… My first time organizing an event… The gathering 2005… Had loads of downs and loads of tears and sweat were shed to prepare… Although there were many knick and knacks everywhere but I still feel as if it has been a dream come true for me… This is my last year in guides at least I seemed to have did something that is worth to be remembered in future… My first time marching… Went for school level marching, district level and even marched for Independence Day once when I was in form 2… My first time getting sun burnt… My first club t-shirt… Ugly and extremely thin was one of the first t-shirt that guides and rangers produced… Then came the black one where Sean Im personally drew and designed it… Then came the one we have now where the guides drew and put in a lot of effort in… The –t-shirt that we have now is a sell-out among many people and we’ve earned quite a lot from it… My first time selling things… It was with YJ, PL, Wt and gang. Made a hefty profit of 1000++ from it… Not bad for form2 students… My first hiking trip.. It was in form 1 with a bunch of seniors to Bukit Cahaya… Then there was the hiking trip with Catholic High scouts to FRIM… Then there came the hiking trip with the DJ scouts… My first out of school camp… Last year in Melaka… Where my group and I were extremely crappy people and that made the camp memorable and fun (at least to me it was)…
At times, it seems that my life rotates around guides… My friends… People I click with… People I don’t… People I can’t stand… They also seem to some how some way got linked to guides… Even the special someone… Who was a scout… It seems that my life is rather connected to guides…
Through guides… I got to know a very large bunch of people… Some became really close… But some just drifted apart after a few years… There were people that I truly admire and there are some that I just can’t stand being anywhere near with… I’ve seen a lot of changes in guides since form 1… I’ve seen the pride and fall of guides and rangers… Form the year of Chin Mei to Ann Nee to Yeeling to Eun Wuei to Chai Kun to Ming Foong right up to me…
In the Chin Mei year things just seemed so perfect… Everything seems to be so perfect everything seemed to be in the right place at the right time. Ann Nee years was about the same as well… Yee Ling’s year was great other than the PLJ bugging around everywhere and anywhere… Then guides seems to just slip away… There seemed to have a downfall after that… This year… I don’t know… I never thought that I was a president material… I was rather weak in many places… The main thing is that I seemed to have lost interest in doing things for guides right after the gathering… Maybe it was like a dream come true for me to have a gathering in my last year in Taman S.E.A. Been planning and wanting it since like form 4&5… My gang of friends and I was really hoping to see a gathering after the disastrous one in form 3.
Marching was the thing that we put loads of effort in and we just seem to lose out every time… At times it was sexism… At times they were just purely unfairdom… Getting sun burnt and screamed at wasn’t fun… The first time I was ion the marching team we got 2nd place then we never claimed a prize from that year onwards… Saddening isn’t it… I think the thing that I will definitely feel sad slightly unsatisfied about… I really wanted to win marching this year… But well… The judges’ decision is final… We ended up 3rd with only 0.5 marks difference from the 2nd place… If only we did slightly better… If only the judges the gave us 0.5 more marks… If only…
The days where “pighead” shooed us off “his” field… The days where YJ and I go around finding the key chain vendors… The days where Yue, Mun and I went around to ask for sponsorship… The days where “pighead” screamed at me due to the gathering… The days where Pn. Norliza was here… The days where Pn. Zaharah was here… Now where Pn. Gowry is here… The days where teacher screamed at me due to the gathering… The days where we were scolded for marching weirdly… The days where YeeLing was still here… Yee Ling will always be the senior, which I’ll admire and look up to… The days where we bullied the juniors…
Camps were the times where we crap all night looking into the stars… Lying at the “astaka”… Feeding the mosquitoes… Chatting… Crapping… Hanging out together during meetings, campfires… Meeting new people… And now that will only be memories…
Sometimes… When you feel like doing something doesn’t mean you’ll be able to do it. I wanted to do backwoodsman but well, we didn’t get to do it this year… I wanted to do flying fox… I wanted to do pioneering… I wanted to make meetings more interesting… I wanted to have a fun camp… I wanted to have a telematch… I wanted to bully the juniors during games… All this can now only be left behind… At times… There are things that can’t be fulfilled… At times there are things that you feel like doing and don’t have the guts to say… At times… At times…
Now that I’ll be stepping down… Hopefully Li Ann and Sue Anne will do a better job and make guiding a better place in Taman S.E.A. Hopefully when I go back to see them one day… Guides and rangers will be more lively and less boring…
Well, since now it’s the season of change… I think I’ve been holding onto some things for too strong too long… At times we should be able to leave things behind and accept something new…Maybe its time for me to leave guides and also leave some things that’s linked to it and accepts the seasons of change… Maybe some changes will do me good… I don’t know… But I feel that I should take the chance take the leap and leave things as memories… At least I know in future when I look back, I’ll see history in my life that I’ll be fond to be reminded of…
When I first came to Taman S.E.A. I was quite reluctant to join guides… I wanted to join scouts… I even wrote scouts on the registration slip… Until my friends talked me into it… What if I joined scouts? The ending will be really different or will it… I don’t know… I guess some things are just meant to be…